Top 01 Cetus and the French Parasite [TOT: 17.038.433.000] PlungedGnome [TEMPLAR] & Anonymous [TEMPLAR] vs. Le Parasite [Task] (A: 3.356.533.000, D: 13.681.900.000)

  • Come one come all! :popcorn:

    Gather around the fire of the dying magnetar Comagf (1:1:1) the Center of the Cetus Universe.

    As we continue the Galactic Adventures of our favorite Gnome and his merry band of Knights Templar!

    This journey was joined by a most noble Knight Paladin, Anonymous. :pump:

    For those that have followed these Adventures we know much of our Heroic Gnome, but so little of our Knight Paladin.

    So allow me to shed some light on this enigma. Our Paladin was once a wonderful Queen named Taarna. After a sex change operation and hormone treatment they Became the Paladin Known as Anonymous :hi: He enjoys long rides on his noble Black Stead, clearing the roads for helpless travelers and keeping the weak safe from vicious Bullies. A true Templar and one our Gnome was honored to fly with.

    So now that we know a little of our Knight Paladin let focus our sights on the Prey at hand, Our parasitic entity. :monster: Now this goes back to the very birth of the Cetus Universe. For all the good in the universe, there is equal evil and when the Cetus Universe came to be, the Parasite was the most evil of them all.

    From Cetus being only 48 light hours old, our Parasite found that there was no such thing as a bashing rule (Thanks Support. Utterly ridiculous!!) The First 48 hours are the most precious in the development of accounts, and for those not spending on the game being bashed endlessly by a multi million point account is disgusting and made many players quit the uni before it even began. :wtf:

    Our Gnome found himself Neighbor to this Demonic Parasite and so instead of feeding this Bully he had to immediately abandon his Home Planet as soon as he had another colony to run off with. What a wonderful set back. :dash: But as he gallantly led the Gnomes far away from this parasitic horror he vowed to never forget the endless Gnomes that had met a pointless death.

    As time went on the Parasite brought more and more evil doers to his side all with the same thirst for blood and preying on the weak. They made a pact with the chea… I mean those that don’t have to follow the rules alliance **cough** SGS :crazy: **cough** (Sorry, still have that cold caused by their BS emissions) so that they could focus on preying on the small and weak. This pact was short lived as their words meant nothing and they broke their pact of good faith by crashing one from the BS alliance. Not a surprise to many of this universe as the word from either of the Alliances seem to be supported by the foundation of lies they spew. A house of toothpicks if you will. :modo:

    Now as this pact devolved into chaos and both sides of the pacts searched for hits on each other, the Gnome Oracles prophesied of a Titan :sleeping: awakening from their deep slumber and righting the evils that had been left to run rampant.

    And just as the Oracles saw, the Titan awoke. :cursing:

    He arose with rage in his eyes. And his target was set on the one who had brought his people harm. The Parasite, feeling the wrath of Justice, searched far and wide for help against the Big One, but none came. For who could believe you now. You had turned your back on your supposed friends and now looked to those you had bashed in the past. No You found yourself alone.

    Because of this loneliness, the Parasite tried to stay awake to prevent attacks from the Titan… but even demons need to sleep :sleeping::sleeping::sleeping:

    The Templars quickly saw this opening and made their move. :whip:

    First night, the Parasite had left 200+m resources laying on his moon and a small cargo fleet on another moon. :vain: Both which were quickly destroyed and scooped up to bolster the ranks of the Templars. A Nice find but not nearly enough to satisfy the the retribution that the universe so desperately required.

    *minigun* **The Night of Parasitic Extermination** *minigun2*

    This night began as any other night. With the Gnome and his merry band of Templars sitting around the round table enjoying the best of company and the best of Templar Ale. Laughing, Singing, Feasting as they readied themselves for the upcoming battles. They had not a worry in the world. Just before the Templars were about to call an end to the festivities, Anonymous’ voice cut through the air… has anyone checked on the Parasite?? All the Templars froze, looked at each other and jumped to action checking out all the known Parasite Planets. :gamer:

    And to the Templars disbelief the Parasite had left more than a mear 200m res. He decided to up the anty and leave us his entire fleet at the same moon that Gnome had visited the night prior. :search:

    Without a moment to lose the Gnome and the Paladin sprung into action. They put on their general pants and launched as soon as deut and fleets landed. Thanks to the support of many friends and Kerrigan we were able to fly and had recs in the air in no time.

    As if Parasite was gifting us more of his fleet, another fleet landed on that moon but the Gnome and Paladin were unphased for the parasite had not logged into his account. We call this a cherry on top of the parasite sundae. :lol:

    Time passed and then… a BANG heard across the galaxy, almost as large as the one that created cetus, was heard far and wide. Little Bizzles and other Parasite loyalists came to see what had happened only to see the parasite in shambles. :blackeye:

    Unfortunately the Parasite came online and pulled thousands of recs out of his bunghole and scooped some of the DF. But the damage had already been done. Cetus had gotten Justice at last. :stick:

    I’d say fast rebuild Parasite but it seems like you kept pulling more fleet out your bunghole and it looks like you barely lost half. You were an extremely good sport so I do wish you the best and I’m sure we will be dancing again in the future.

    :beer: Dedi to the Templars and Friends for all the support. :beer:

    Tracer don’t colonize near my planets, you keep spreading the BS plague you all carry, just to run away with tail between your legs.


    On 18-02-2023 --:--:--, the following fleets met in battle:

    Attacker PlungedGnome [TEMPLAR]


    Light Fighter 568.863

    Heavy Fighter 27.341

    Cruiser 101.297

    Battleship 48.101

    Battlecruiser 21.215

    Destroyer 13.896

    Reaper 2.505

    Pathfinder 16.002


    Attacker Anonymous [TEMPLAR]


    Light Fighter 412.286

    Heavy Fighter 49.718

    Cruiser 68.948

    Battleship 29.779

    Battlecruiser 42.660

    Destroyer 9.769

    Reaper 4.415

    Pathfinder 19.482


    Defender Le Parasite [Task]


    Small Cargo 120.186

    Large Cargo 54.557

    Light Fighter 310.269

    Heavy Fighter 57.108

    Cruiser 69.743

    Battleship 52.390

    Recycler 39.174

    Espionage Probe 3.928

    Bomber 5.591

    Destroyer 3.743

    Deathstar 100

    Battlecruiser 21.165

    Reaper 3.020

    Pathfinder 19.549


    After the battle ...

    Attacker PlungedGnome [TEMPLAR]


    Light Fighter 292.364 ( -276.499 )

    Heavy Fighter 18.229 ( -9.112 )

    Cruiser 88.437 ( -12.860 )

    Battleship 46.416 ( -1.685 )

    Battlecruiser 20.518 ( -697 )

    Destroyer 13.499 ( -397 )

    Reaper 2.440 ( -65 )

    Pathfinder 13.781 ( -2.221 )


    Attacker Anonymous [TEMPLAR]


    Light Fighter 214.323 ( -197.963 )

    Heavy Fighter 33.490 ( -16.228 )

    Cruiser 60.629 ( -8.319 )

    Battleship 28.714 ( -1.065 )

    Battlecruiser 41.432 ( -1.228 )

    Destroyer 9.506 ( -263 )

    Reaper 4.285 ( -130 )

    Pathfinder 16.904 ( -2.578 )


    Defender Le Parasite [Task]




    The attacker has won the battle!

    The attacker captured:

    55.832.276 Metal, 53.746.228 Crystal and 49.625.249 Deuterium

    The attacker lost a total of 3.356.533.000 units.

    The defender lost a total of 13.681.900.000 units.

    At these space coordinates now float 5.086.594.187 metal and 2.767.254.316 crystal.

    The attacker captured a total of 159.203.753 units.

    The chance for a moon to be created from the debris was 20%.


    Debris harvested by the attacker(s):

    1.593.378.000 Metal and 1.593.378.000 Crystal

    25.284.500 Metal and 13.755.499 Crystal

    515.344.943 Metal and 515.344.943 Crystal

    44.403.313 Metal and 24.156.685 Crystal

    Total debris harvested by the attacker(s):

    2.178.410.756 Metal and 2.146.635.127 Crystal

    Summary of profit/losses:

    Summary attackers(s)

    Metal: -40.829.968

    Crystal: 1.242.346.355

    Deuterium: -73.799.751

    The attacker(s) made a profit of 1.127.716.636 units.

    Summary defender(s)

    Metal: -8.093.323.276

    Crystal: -4.706.044.228

    Deuterium: -1.041.736.249

    The defender(s) lost a total of 13.841.103.753 units.

    Powered by OGotcha CR Converter 4.3.1

  • With love and respect to the parasite. May you pull more ships out of your bumhole so we can go pew pew again.


  • Awesome job dudes!!!

    Hits do not need to be just fun to hit people.

    "nobody cares"

  • I think someone is trying to drag me into your drama wars. I'll stay put, you guys have a bit too much firepower for poor Sweetchuck.

    Nice hit - Le Parasite leave me alone :lol:

  • I think someone is trying to drag me into your drama wars. I'll stay put, you guys have a bit too much firepower for poor Sweetchuck.

    Nice hit - Le Parasite leave me alone

    W comment

    Leave your fleet around. don't worry you didn't need it anyways :deathstar:

  • Nice catch, even though I don't enjoy seeing who is on the receiving end. A good hit is a good hit at the end of the day.

    I also enjoy a good banter as well as rivalry, wherever that may come from. So bring it on. But I don't particularly enjoy being smeared, being falsely told that my word does not count for anything. I hope you can keep it mature in the future.

  • Amazing hit ! Only rivaled by the story behind it ! Despite just being a spectator on the sideline of this Im honored.

    To bad about the debris. FR to defender.

  • I always Enjoy you're StoRies! GNOME you're the Funniest HeRe! It Was a ReAlly Nice hit! You're Givvingg Me mOOre Jobs to do To KeeP uP! And I LOve that! I HOpe to See more! I'm Always Looking for more People to makE My life Harder!!


  • Nice find! How did I end up a Parasite loyalist? Guess the story is more interesting if you embellish it. I launched on him too lol. FR Parasite.

    I'm only little for now :)


    Thanks DISASTER for the awesome Sig!

  • Nice hit, always fun to see the stories with hits.

    FR Defender, looks like with getting a lot of the df you are on your way for sure.


    HOF 100+ | Advanced 100+ | Super Advanced ?? | Top 10 - 5 | Top - 1

  • [Staff] Armand S

    Changed the title of the thread from “Cetus and the French Parasite [TOT: 17.038.433.000] PlungedGnome [TEMPLAR] & Anonymous [TEMPLAR] vs. Le Parasite [Task] (A: 3.356.533.000, D: 13.681.900.000)” to “Top 01 Cetus and the French Parasite [TOT: 17.038.433.000] PlungedGnome [TEMPLAR] & Anonymous [TEMPLAR] vs. Le Parasite [Task] (A: 3.356.533.000, D: 13.681.900.000)”.